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  • My wife said the best sex she ever has was on vacation last year....

  • My wife said the garden hose wasn't working anymore....

  • My wife said to me "what starts in......

  • My wife said, "Don't mix the eggs too much, you might ruin them!...

  • My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis....

  • My wife said, "I'm backing the car in the garage....

  • My wife sat me down and told me how important Valentine's Day is to her....

  • My wife sat me down last night and said , "honey, we need to address the elephant in the room....

  • My wife says I am just like a cicada....

  • My Wife says i have two major faults....

  • My wife says I should have been a plumber....

  • My wife says I tell "USPS" dad jokes....

  • My wife says I won't get 10 upvotes for this groaner I just told the kids....

  • My wife says I'm the biggest miser on......

  • My wife says I'm the most stubborn and strong willed person she's ever met....

  • My wife says if I don't stop using reddit, she will smash my head into the keyboard....

  • My wife says my new haircut looks a little funny....

  • My wife says my Yoda impressions are bad......

  • My wife says our vacuum cleaner sucks......

  • My wife says she is thinking of leaving me cause of my obsessions with things like Astronomy....

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