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I've made so many animal puns lately....
I've made some pretty rubbish jokes on Reddit what should I do?...
I've never understood surprise birthday parties....
I've only now realized tofu is overrated......
I've pissed my pants in North and South America, shit my britches in Africa and Europe, didn't make it on time in Asia, involuntary brown thunder while I was Down Under, and couldn't hold it in on a cruise to Antarctica....
I've run out of toilet paper and started using old newspapers....
I've stopped dancing because it depresses me......
I've worn my socks so much, they are......
If a federal prisoner removes an insect by a rapid finger movement....
If Apple made a confession booth, what would they name it?...
If Chuck Norris lived in the woods we'd call him the Wood Chuck....
If Earth wasn't flat, they should have named......
If I am addicted to masturbation, but it turns into a sex addiction....
If I called you a cunt......
If I could time travel I'd visit Holland back when everyone wore hand carved footwear....
If I ever become a rapper, I'll name myself "Scallion" so that....
If I have a landyours....
If i hear one more joke about auto mechanics....
If I'm skinny and do suspicious activity......
If laziness was an Olympic sport I would come in 4th....
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