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  • If you are 'disabled'....

  • If you are being chased by a bunch of taxidermists ....

  • If you call someone a "stick in the mud" it's because they are no fun....

  • If you can't get out of a predicament with $10....

  • If you commit 90 sins, you will get caught about half the time....

  • If you get an email about not eating canned ham because of the Swine Flu, ignore it....

  • If you get an email with the words......

  • If you go fishing and all you...

  • If you hate musical puns . ....

  • If you haven't seen House, you should....

  • If you let a minor take a puff......

  • If you like to tell a dad joke and you're not a Dad, what are you?...

  • If you like using bidets, that's fine, but I don't need to hear about your bathroom habits....

  • If you made a mistake with the...

  • If you never discipline your kids they will grow up to be horrible people....

  • If you put a dog in an automobile....

  • If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN......

  • If you see a police car made of......

  • If you serve your children frozen chicken nuggets, you're a horrible parent....

  • If you serve your kids frozen vegetables and frozen chicken nuggets, you're a terrible parent....

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