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  • I don't like wrapping herbs around my midriff....

  • I don't mean to brag, but they've banned me from the hardware store....

  • I don't mind being circumcised....

  • I don't really like baggy clothing......

  • I don't really like those traveling Broadway shows....

  • I don't tell short jokes....

  • I don't think jokes about German beers are really that funny....

  • I don't think jokes about unemployed people are funny at all....

  • I don't trust banks......

  • I don't trust caricature artists....

  • I don't trust my chess opponent to play honestly....

  • I don't understand face care products......

  • I don't understand why people celebrate Pi day......

  • I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals....

  • I don't usually laugh at fart jokes......

  • I don't want my kids to watch orchestra......

  • I don't want panels on my house anymore....

  • I don't want to be a taxidermist....

  • I don't want to brag about my golf......

  • I don't why my wife breastfeed me...

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