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  • I refuse to use compost......

  • I saw a store with a sign that read "Watch Batteries Installed - $5....

  • I started a business of a chicken...

  • I thought my chiropractor is a fraud and......

  • I threw an Asian down the stairs...

  • I told a guy "what's upstairs?...

  • I told my friend that I bought the Geordie version of iTunes....

  • I told my son, "Have you heard that they're shutting down all food resources in schools so that children can't eat?...

  • I told my wife I was pretty angry about the low number of toads in my life....

  • I told my wife, "Did you know Old McDonald's farm has been taken over by Artificial Intelligence?...

  • I told the nurse I was bitten by a wolf....

  • I told the nurse I was bitten by a wolf....

  • I told this attractive woman that I thought she was beautiful and she called me a sexist....

  • I took my dog, Samuel Akita, to the vet....

  • I tried to get into a relationship with an invisible person....

  • I tried to make a timely joke about......

  • I tried to re-marry my ex-wife......

  • I tried to sue the airline company that......

  • I used to tell the truth all the time and now I just "spill the T"....

  • I walked out of a lecture about singularities......

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