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  • I was gonna offer your mom a drink......

  • I was happy to raise my kid on my own, until his mother, my ex-wife burned our house down....

  • I was having a badminton matches in the public gym....

  • I was in a debate and someone defended......

  • I was in a fight with a Lego man the other day....

  • I was invited to a party....

  • I was jumped in the alley by a gang of 25 cent pieces....

  • I was kicked out of the library for throwing a fit after they refused to show me and my kids tiny trout and tiny bass....

  • I was late to my first fight club today....

  • I was looking to buy a new car the other day and asked for cargo space....

  • I was looking to buy the finest yardstick on the market....

  • I was mugged by a group of 6......

  • I was offered a job assembling printed pages into books....

  • I was once part of an atheist group, but I don't think they were atheists....

  • I was playing poker against a fitted sheet, and it kept yelling "I quit!...

  • I was pleading to Christ for a good internet connection nearby, however despite all the wish....

  • I was pleading to Christ for a good internet connection, however despite all the wish....

  • I was so close to winning an argument with my wife....

  • I was telling my friend that my rather chunky girlfriend had admitted to cheating on me with the NFL player Tyreek Hill....

  • I was told by a terrorist that no one is allowed to keep count of anything anymore ....

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