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  • I tried to convince my wife and daughter that pictures of Santa and crew could only be taken with a special camera - the North Polaroid ....

  • I tried to convince the devil to buy......

  • I tried to get a job at the Boring Company....

  • I tried to get into a relationship with an invisible person....

  • I tried to get my friend into Baroque......

  • I tried to grab the fog once....

  • I tried to make a timely joke about......

  • I tried to meet my favorite band from the 80s....

  • I tried to re-marry my ex-wife......

  • I tried to return some chicken wire to the store....

  • I tried to share a sandwich with a......

  • I tried to start a beach footwear business......

  • I tried to sue the airline company that......

  • I tried to take a picture of myself......

  • I tried to turn on my wife tonight......

  • I used to be a TERRIBLE procrastinator......

  • I used to run a chicken dating site....

  • I used to tell the truth all the time and now I just "spill the T"....

  • I used to work at a restaurant for dogs, but I had to quit....

  • I walked into a bookstore today....

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