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  • I met a racist pirate......

  • I met a rich, non-binary gold prospector the other day....

  • I met an Apple software developer who didn't have the greatest social skills....

  • I met my wife in the glue factory where we both worked....

  • I met some aliens from outer space......

  • I met someone who used to be an admiral....

  • I met this guy......

  • I met Will....

  • I miss going to my chiropractor more often....

  • I miss Mount Rushmore before it was carved......

  • I miss the original Spyro games....

  • I moved to Kansas but didn't see any pirates....

  • I must say I've come a long way since I first started driving ten years ago....

  • I muted my phone and now my contacts are gone....

  • I nearly got a tattoo of my life motto the other day....

  • I nearly took a job in Antarctica......

  • I never believed a chiropractor could improve my posture....

  • I never forget what I've eaten at a......

  • I never liked having facial hair......

  • I never set out to make clothes for......

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