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I never thought orthopedic shoes really would work for me....
I never trust an elevator......
I never trust rodents with my secrets....
I never wanted a beard......
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker....
I no longer see my wife and kids....
I no longer worry about plumbing problems....
I often reminisce about the amazing boobs I got to grow up around - from the sitter to my 8th grade science teacher, and even my old neighbor, Mrs....
I Once Almost Dated a Psychic Girl!...
I once ate a watch....
I once ate an entire rope....
I once bought a hook from a pirate....
I once bought a manure business......
I once broke up with a blind girl......
I once clenched my ass to hold a......
I once clogged the soda machine's ice dispenser....
I once competed in the National Viagra Eating......
I once dated a baker....
I once dated a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery....
I once dated a magazine collector......
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