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  • I accidentally sat on a replacement window....

  • I agree with that most - we really need to clean our act up....

  • I almost burned my house down cooking dinner......

  • I always have the last thing to say in my house....

  • I always keep a ruler under my pillow....

  • I always knock on the fridge before I......

  • I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it....

  • I always laugh when I go to...

  • I always say go big or go home......

  • I am having a hard time getting the yoga instructor I hired online to leave my house....

  • I am having hard time deciding whether I should throw away my old pillow....

  • I answered the door to the postman in my underwear....

  • I applied for a job at a haunted......

  • I asked my carpenter to install a certain sort of fancy molding on the staircase....

  • I asked my father if we'd ever have a housemaid....

  • I asked my landlord if I could set......

  • I asked my Scottish granny if she needed anything from the kitchen and she asked for a wee drink....

  • I asked my son to move his pens, pencils, and notebook off the kitchen counter but he couldn't....

  • I asked my wife how to turn...

  • I asked my wife, why is there a busted condom on the couch?...

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