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  • i could just sleep in the recliner....

  • I could walk through this screen door right now....

  • I couldn't catch the thief on the stairs......

  • I don't trust the stairs......

  • I don't understand my wife's kitchen organization......

  • I don't want panels on my house anymore....

  • I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break....

  • I eat furniture....

  • I fainted in the curry house when i heard REM had split up....

  • I fell into the concrete while I was......

  • I filled my colander to let it soak....

  • I finally bought a new latch....

  • I finally folded all my laundry......

  • I forgot to wash my bedspread with the rest of the laundry....

  • I found a Chingy CD on the floor....

  • I found a police officer on my bed....

  • I found out I don't need to make my bed....

  • I gave my kids one last chance to stop playing their whistle in the house....

  • I get irrationally angry when the family uses up all the bread at breakfast time before I've had any....

  • I got arrested for doing 1000 sit-ups in my own house!...

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