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I got arrested yesterday for stealing a kitchen utensil....
I got fined by the city for illegally fixing the potholes on the streets by my house!...
I got fired from my job because I......
I got locked out of my house so kindly asked the door to open....
I got my blood drawn today....
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday....
I guess it doesn't matter to my wife that I sat at our kitchen island all day and completed our annual taxes....
I had no problems painting and decorating the ground floor of my home....
I had to fire the maid....
I had to look for a blind guy......
I hate double standards....
I hate to pry......
I hate washing dirty clothes and they just......
I hate when I hang out at MC Hammer's house ....
I have a joke about construction....
I have a pet manatee named Hugh....
I have a problem with people coming out......
I have a weird fear of overly intricate......
I have started selling bed linen with...
I have the power to turn into a piece of furniture, and I'm the leader of my superhero squad....
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