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  • Humpty Dumpty had a terrible winter......

  • I *hate* being bi-polar....

  • I accidentally put a condom on backwards......

  • I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble Tiles....

  • I added lunges into my workout routine....

  • I always wanted to be a miner......

  • I am a lot like my laundry......

  • I am very excited for the event the......

  • I applied for a new job, filling in for a dwarf who is currently on maternity leave ....

  • I asked a cannibal why he was eating a human....

  • I asked my friend if they wanted to get a manicure after the accident that cost my foot....

  • I asked my mother to rate my...

  • I asked my Scottish grandfather if he had a favorite body part....

  • I asked my Scottish mate the best way......

  • I asked my son what he learned at school today....

  • I asked my wife how to turn...

  • I asked my wife to get a job that pays for ur needs....

  • I asked my wife to rate my listening skills....

  • I ASKED MY WIFE WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS TIE A PORK CHOP AROUND MY NECK ?...

  • I asked some prisoners convicted of cannibalism what......

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