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I farted in an elevator....
I feel like my body is a biological......
I fell in love with a tape measure ....
I felt so bad for accidentally destroying...
I finally lost my winter fat....
I find it disgusting that the head of......
I found a pregnant bed bug last night......
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today....
I found out I'm a newborn grandfather....
I got a bad sunburn the other day......
I got a concussion at work this morning....
I got a new Vader suit......
I got arrested just because my kid tripped and bashed his leg between the top of his shin and....
I got banned from the water park yesterday......
I got burned when I was a kid and now when I exercise I have to touch it....
I got fired for wearing my heart on my sleeve....
I got hurt by a pickaxe....
I got in trouble at the pool for peeing in the deep end....
I got into an accident on the freeway....
I got into an argument with a paraplegic but frankly....
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