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I bought a book called' Do It Yourself Surgery' when I opened it,would you believe it!...
I bought my friend an elephant for his room....
I bought my little brother 3 socks for......
I bought the newlyweds an elephant for...
I broke my leg when I was boarding an airplane....
I broke up with a girl after she got us into a really bad auto accident and doctors had to amputate half her foot....
I called out of work because of anal glaucoma....
I called out sick today....
I came into a bunch of money recently....
I can only poop on a specific...
I can tie a cherry stem with my......
I can type with my fingers and toes at the same speed....
I can't believe I came last at the......
I can't believe the huge amount of people that don't understand erectile dysfunction....
I can't believe viruses and bacteria just invade my body without my consent....
I can't stand above average height people....
I can't stop thinking about cysts, blisters, and boils....
I can't tell Dad Jokes anymore......
I can't think of a time when I lost my toupee while riding a motorcycle....
I caught accused a guy of stealing a torso from the morgue today....
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