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  • I recently came into a bunch of money....

  • I recently came into a bunch of money....

  • I recently made a Weapon of Mass destruction......

  • I recently opened a company selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats....

  • I recently organised an orgy for dead people......

  • I recently quit my job at the helium factor....

  • I recently read that in 20 years, water will be so scarce that companies will be using it as a basis for compensation....

  • I recently retired......

  • I recently started a business building yachts in my attic....

  • I recently started telling furniture jokes....

  • I recently took a pole......

  • I recently wrote a document in Word, but my colleague changed a lot of the paragraph formatting....

  • I refuse to use shampoo in my hair......

  • I remember the time I went for that sous-chef job in a French restaurant....

  • I replaced some dead light bulbs today......

  • I request my vacations be taken during winter time....

  • I rescued a cow from a slaughterhouse....

  • I rescued a cow from a slughterhouse......

  • I rescued a fat steer from a feed lot before they could take him to the slaughter house....

  • I returned the vaccum cleaner......

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