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  • My daughter got stung by an insect while she was messing around with an insect's hive....

  • My daughter is officially getting into jokes and understanding them and we are working on what punchlines are....

  • My daughter said we should go have breakfast at IHOP because kids are free....

  • My doctor found out I've been losing weight by eating toys with strings....

  • My doctor handed me a prescription for Viagra and I asked him, "what's this for?...

  • My doctor looked distraught while looking at my lab results, so I asked him, "What is it?...

  • My doctor put me on a strict diet......

  • My doctor told me I had to stop masturbating....

  • My doctor told me I've really grown as a person....

  • My Doctor told me that I've really grown as a person....

  • My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that I work out....

  • My doctor, also a microbiologist, said I contracted a bacterial infection in my body....

  • My dog can talk....

  • My dog doesn't believe in the existence of small creatures living on his body....

  • My ex couldn't make a career in adult movies because she was lousy at giving bjs....

  • My first home had three-foot ceilings....

  • My first math pun......

  • My first time at the sperm bank,...

  • My friend and I were walking down the street and saw some freshly poured cement....

  • My friend Anita P....

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