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  • My great, great, grandson never came back in time to visit me....

  • My hipster nephew has anemia......

  • My IQ test results came back....

  • My kid asked what that noise was......

  • My kid messaged me saying they were going......

  • My kid said he didn't know what Armageddon......

  • My lactose intolerant friend wants to drink milk....

  • My lithium battery didn't charge correctly....

  • My mate started a band....

  • My mom and my dad were quite the opposite....

  • My mom tried to deny she was into meditation, but I could see right through her lies....

  • My mom would always wisely say in front of dad that she saw a beautiful jacket,purse....

  • My mother-in-law doesn't allow anyone to have a good time when she's drinking at family gatherings....

  • My neighbor was once the sound guy for a lot of famous bluegrass artists....

  • My neighbour's front garden has completely vanished....

  • My nephew is four years old and he can't say "please" in Spanish....

  • My new diet is really working, I only had 2 carbs today!...

  • My next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes....

  • My now ex just broke up with me....

  • My now ex-GF said:...

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