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  • I have a terrible speech impediment....

  • I have a weird fear of overly intricate......

  • I have been trying to learn all the......

  • I have hundreds of dead batteries to donate....

  • I have many jokes about rich kids......

  • I have many jokes about unemployed people......

  • I have taken steps to ensure my long......

  • I haven't slept for a week....

  • I haven't slept for ten days!...

  • I haven't slept for three days....

  • I haven't talked to my wife in 3 weeks....

  • I haven't talked to my wife in 7 years....

  • I haven't talked to my wife in a......

  • I heard that NASA is going to fix......

  • I heard that some trees live forever......

  • I heard the lifespan of an electron is......

  • I in a competition to see who...

  • I invited a hoarder to my house party, but I think he's too busy to attend....

  • I invited my extended family round for dinner......

  • I just bought a thesaurus, and got home to find out the pages are all blank!...

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