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  • I tried to invent a type of paper that couldn't be torn, but I failed miserably....

  • I tried to Stream that new Documentary on......

  • I tried to use 'fortnight' as a password....

  • I tried writing a book on plants,...

  • I tried writing a novel about the Big Bang....

  • I tried writing down all the things that made me depressed or apathetic, but I never did....

  • I try and rehearse all my jokes in the mirror....

  • I try to always say "mucho" when I'm......

  • I used to be addicted to swimming......

  • I used to hate body hair......

  • I used to hate facial hair......

  • I used to have a problem with dropping my suitcase....

  • I used to know a ton of good dad jokes....

  • I used to not like my facial hair....

  • I used to really look up to my dad when I was younger....

  • I used to tell the truth all the time and now I just "spill the T"....

  • I walked past sign that said "watch repairs......

  • I was 5 foot 11 before my amputation......

  • I was buying an apartment from a couple that took up an entire floor....

  • I was fired from the Calendar Factory......

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