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My obsession with 17th century European style lead me to spend my entire life's savings transforming my home and wardrobe into that exact period....
My parents told me I should marry four......
My part-time job repairing computer keyboards might not work out....
My patient ran out after I repaired the......
My sister in law bought a battery powered......
My sister in law said that another name for a pirate is a buccaneer....
My sister used to hide money in the bushes in our yard....
My son asked me why I didn't support his dream of a career playing violin....
My son bought a suit made out of knives, swords, and razors....
My son is building a house shaped like a parabola....
My son tried to buy my love with a crisp 10-dollar bill....
My son's girlfriend has been dropping these subtle hints about her financial problems....
My super-rich girlfriend keeps buying me apartments that I can't afford myself....
My tech-savvy friend thinks I'm rich, because when I asked about buying a good TV....
My Tinder bio says very honestly that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, that I drive a $500k vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel....
My Tinder date was so cheap....
My Uncle Elroy used to sell pants for 25 cents apiece....
My uncle loves drinking, so for his birthday,......
My Visa was declined at the sweater store....
My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement....
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