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None of the donated charity phones every worked....
Not to brag or anything....
Not trying to brag about my finances but....
Of my many luxury cars, which would I least want to take scuba diving?...
Old one......
On her deathbed I asked my Italian grandma for life advice....
On my trip to Egypt, I met a guy who said I can buy a monument for just 500$....
One blackbird began avoiding the others, quietly hanging out at night with the owls....
One of my friends fell in a deep hole in my backyard, so I bought him some glasses....
One of my house keys booked a walking......
Oregon is giving grants to wine growers....
Our city planners are cheap and use products from china....
Our furniture goes back to Louis the 14th....
Our hot water system was on the fritz......
Out of respect for the families of the deceased billionaires, we will no longer use the term implosion....
Paraplegic porn prices are mental......
People ask me what my wife does for a living....
Picabo Street, the Olympic skier......
Prize likely for latest LA Times article on men's hairstyles....
Putting my sock puppets up for sale....
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