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  • I just bought my outfit for the Renaissance Festival with cash....

  • I just bought some balloons and the cost for helium was double....

  • I just burned 2,000 calories....

  • I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes....

  • I just completed a study on the effects of walking after consuming too much alcohol....

  • I just dicovered that my parents named me......

  • I just did 480 push ups in a......

  • I just had my 32nd birthday....

  • I just lost 20% of my couch....

  • I just made $40,000 trading ground pepper futures....

  • I just met the richest dude ever!...

  • I just ranked all the classical music composers......

  • I just read about the triplet arsonists....

  • I just shat myself......

  • I know a mathematician who's afraid of negative......

  • I know a scary joke about maths......

  • I know a scary math joke......

  • I left your mum because she wouldn't stop counting....

  • I like counting the digits on people's feet....

  • I like Lunar New Year....

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