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  • My toilet's clogged......

  • My tree was dying so I tried rebuilding its branches with duct tape....

  • My tree was dying so I tried repairing it with duct tape....

  • My twin boys want to be a valet when they grow up....

  • My twin toddlers decided to be rappers......

  • My Uber driver cares about my mental well-being......

  • My uncle claims to have created an age reversal potion....

  • My Uncle Elroy used to sell pants for 25 cents apiece....

  • My uncle got abducted by a UFO......

  • My uncle the arsonist was well liked at parties....

  • My uncle was a successful farmer......

  • My uncle, Don, has a suspenseful son....

  • My Uncle's a lion tamer, and when he went bankrupt they took nearly everything....

  • My very best friend said my sense of humour is way too dark!...

  • My wedding was so emotional......

  • My weird uncle Jimmy used to complain that his kilt was to short and I thought he was crazy....

  • My wife accused me of being a cross......

  • My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives....

  • My wife accused me of stealing her clothes......

  • My wife always burns the pan when cooking......

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