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  • My son took a blade to the neck and started gushing bright orange blood....

  • My son used to be a Straight-A student......

  • My son used to be an OCD Straight-A......

  • My son used to do very poorly in school, but now he is getting straight A's....

  • My son wanted to know what it was like to be a parent....

  • My son wanted to know what it's like to be a parent....

  • My son was at the dinner table eating his vitamin gummy....

  • My son was chewing on electrical cord cords so I had to ground him....

  • My son was chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him....

  • My son was playing Fortnite......

  • My son was seriously injured in a peekaboo accident....

  • My son went to a silent retreat for 3 months....

  • My son, who looks like his mother, was making faces and asking who he looks like....

  • My son's fourth birthday was today....

  • My son's Geometry teacher was not at school today....

  • My son's math homework has turned him into a little anarchist....

  • My son's science project exploded......

  • My subordinates can't seem to finish simple tasks......

  • My subtraction jokes are gaining a lot of popularity....

  • My suicidal friend got pissed at the way I greeted him today....

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