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  • I like reading books about antigravity....

  • I like this cheese......

  • I like to read stories from different...

  • I looked up the word "Opaque" in the dictionary....

  • I lost a spelling bee because I didn't know how to spell Armageddon....

  • I lost my thesaurus the other day....

  • I love fingerprints....

  • I loved my holiday in Mexico, but the people literally thought I was an alien....

  • I made a huge mistake challenging Death to a pillow fight....

  • I made my wife French toast for Easter......

  • I managed to escape Neverland Ranch by taking refuge in a nearby Catholic church....

  • I matched with a with a girl from the afterlife on Tinder....

  • I messaged the ceo of Lego yesterday......

  • I met a Criminal who is a Halfling......

  • I met a dyslexic witch....

  • I met Hannibal Lecter's brother this week, and learned he is even more sadistic....

  • I miss his funny jokes....

  • I miss Mount Rushmore before it was carved......

  • I miss the original Spyro games....

  • I misunderstood pride month......

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