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  • I said bite me to a vampire......

  • I said it was a sari....

  • I said to Beethoven "have you heard the one about the deaf guy?...

  • I said to my wife, "my god woman can't you see how horny I am?...

  • I saw a camel with learning difficulties....

  • I saw a lady wearing a fur scarf and made a remark about how cozy and snug it must be....

  • I saw a magic tractor the other day......

  • I saw a magic tractor......

  • I saw a movie about a beaver last week....

  • I saw an elephant with a short nose the other day....

  • I saw an XXX zombie movie the other day....

  • I saw Christopher Nolan last night at an Oscar party creating a scale model of a mountain fort out of napkin and glasses, pointing his phone camera at guests and shouting action and tell people to repeat their conversations....

  • I saw the neighbor kid dressed up as a Japanese assassin doing moves in the yard....

  • I Say I Say I Say - What insect can't make its mind up?...

  • I should open up a gym in Hell......

  • I shouldn't have hired Dwarves and Hobbits to run my Middle Earth restaurant....

  • I simply cannot understand why Santa Claus is so popular....

  • I sold my Homing Pigeon on Ebay......

  • I spent the whole day arguing with my......

  • I spent the whole of the day rearranging......

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