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  • Huge fight at the seafood restaurant....

  • Huge mix-up at the blood bank....

  • I accidentally coughed at a police officer's face......

  • I accidentally dropped a bucket of paint on......

  • I accidentally killed someone with a gun....

  • I accidently sprayed body spray in my mouth......

  • I advised my friend to stop playing Russian......

  • I almost forgot a joke about throwing a boomerang....

  • I almost got in a wreck at lunch....

  • I always liked how certain old videogames would parade around all of the baddies during the end credits....

  • I am about to beat my wife....

  • I am afraid of the unknown....

  • I am planning to return my new sunglasses after they got broken during a fight with my abusive wife....

  • I asked Margot Robbie an autograph, but she......

  • I asked my Scottish mate the best way......

  • I asked my sister if she would like......

  • I asked my Viking boss for a raise, and he replied "you got it!...

  • I asked my wife, Shirley, if she'd like to engage in a Medieval Battle Exhibition....

  • I awoke from a dream where I got hit in the head with a wine bottle....

  • I beat you can't answer this question without swearing....

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