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  • I blundered a chess game and got mated......

  • I bought a new fan today and it's blades are powerful enough to decapitate someone!...

  • I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday....

  • I came home the other evening to a bunch of zombies watching my TV....

  • I can't believe I came last at the......

  • I can't believe someone broke into my house and stole all my fruit!...

  • I can't remember what I did with my boomerang....

  • I can't stand that German man....

  • I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him....

  • I can't wait to get home and tear......

  • I caught accused a guy of stealing a torso from the morgue today....

  • I chased a man through an apartment block today....

  • I could never be a kleptomania victim...

  • I couldn't figure out how lightning worked....

  • I couldn't find the obituaries in the newspaper......

  • I decided to free my imaginary horse, but then he went crazy....

  • I didn't do too well in the Navy....

  • I didn't know my father was once a mime....

  • I don't know what the capital of Alaska is....

  • I don't know why pyrotechnics are in charge of fireworks every 4th of July....

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