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  • I got on a moving staircase and was......

  • I got pulled over by the cops the other day....

  • I got robbed by 6 dwarfs last night....

  • I got robbed by 6 dwarves,......

  • I got shot yesterday....

  • I got stabbed by an electric guitar once....

  • I grew up in a rough neighborhood....

  • I had a dream last night I was helping Rose from the titanic change a tyre....

  • I had a great childhood....

  • I had a vasectomy so I wouldn't have kids anymore....

  • I had an addiction to Michael Jackson's music......

  • i had an axe body spray sent to......

  • I had to call animal control to remove a large aggressive lizard from my toilet....

  • I had to fire my graffiti artist......

  • I had to point out to the park ranger who was throwing water at everyone....

  • I had to take a stand against listening......

  • I hate bricklayers......

  • I hate cats......

  • I hate double standards....

  • I hate it when someone depressurizes the airlock before I've put on my spacesuit....

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