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I ordered some bubble wrap with "Will you marry me?...
I played our wedding video backward yesterday....
I prepared my wife a roast beef dinner but she complained it was raw and needed to be roasted longer....
I pretty sure someone coming into our house and stealing our toilets....
I promised my wife I would try not to get too excited when we went to the nude beach....
I read an article today that said you should embrace your mistakes....
I recently called an old Engineering friend of mine and asked what he was working on these days....
I recently switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack....
I remember the exact moment I learned to do comedy impressions....
I said to my wife "this duvet is so soft!...
I said to my wife the other day "I completely agree....
I said to my wife, "For the last 15 years, all you've done is find mistakes in anything I say....
I saw my opportunity and took it....
I saw my wife putting on her sexy underwear this morning....
I saw my wife using her phone to record herself getting her hair styled....
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV:...
I see my wife when I lie dreaming......
I sent a package of food to my former wife....
I sent my wife a single letter as a message:...
I started a support group for dads living with wives who talk too much....
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