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  • I recently lost half my body....

  • I recently quit my job at the helium factor....

  • I recently started telling furniture jokes....

  • I recently took a pole......

  • I recently took a poll....

  • I recently visited Oklahoma, it wasn't horrible but......

  • I recently watched the Netflix series created by the creator of The Simpsons....

  • I refuse to swarm around to the news......

  • I relocated from one apartment to another....

  • I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn't pay my electricity bill....

  • I remember once when I was a young......

  • I remember the day I went skydiving, looking down and being absolutely horrified by what I saw below....

  • I remember the time I went for that sous-chef job in a French restaurant....

  • I remember the time when I was reminiscing my love life while cutting up an onion....

  • I rented a bulldozer and leveled out all the land in my front yard....

  • I represent diverse groups of individuals who don't like getting wet in the rain....

  • I returned the vaccum cleaner......

  • I said "mucho" to my Spanish friend......

  • I said to my buddy, "My girlfriend...

  • I said to my son, "What do you call a bunch of indifferent pumpkins grown on a hill in Finland?...

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