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  • I really want someone to jump on my new song, anybody?...

  • I really want to buy the new fashionable camoflauge jacket....

  • I really want to tell an inappropriate joke about my dad's penis....

  • I really wanted to get a cat as......

  • I really wasn't looking forward to the...

  • I Rear Ended Someone This Morning......

  • I received a flyer on anger management the other day....

  • I received subpar alcohol at a Japanese restaurant;...

  • I recently attended a get together for attractive idiots....

  • I recently bought an aviation themed couch....

  • I recently broke long-standing ties with my cannibal......

  • I recently broke up with my alien girlfriend......

  • I recently had a date with a pyromaniac....

  • I recently heard that disco was making a comeback....

  • I recently joined a nudist colony....

  • I recently joined a nudist community....

  • I recently joined a soup based cult......

  • I recently joined a support group for people who talk a lot....

  • I recently learned that humans farts have sounded the same since ancient Egypt....

  • I recently learned the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi....

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