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  • I need to set my room temperature to......

  • I never tell dad jokes......

  • I never tell people I have a B....

  • I no longer worry about plumbing problems....

  • I noticed my wife has been sitting on......

  • I once fought off a home invader by toppling a glass book shelf onto him....

  • I once saw jake from State Farm at......

  • I once tried to live on the roof of a museum....

  • I only ever had stepladders in my house....

  • I organize houses for blonde women....

  • I overheard the walls of my home discussing their plans for Saturday night....

  • I painted my room in three different colours......

  • I played a prank on My friend the other day by taking all the lamps in his house....

  • I pretty sure someone coming into our house and stealing our toilets....

  • I put laxatives in my dishwasher last night....

  • I put the internet router into the barn....

  • I realised that with a bit of light persuasion, my dog made a great engineer....

  • I really do love my Stepladder......

  • I really hate using my vacuum cleaner....

  • I really like my new chandelier....

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