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My sister has a Michael Jackson phobia....
My son asked, "what happens if someone took a jackhammer to your stomach?...
My son cut all my extension cords......
My son hit me with an insect shaped cookie sheet....
My son is a boomerang......
My son threw a breadstick at his sister......
My son took a blade to the neck and started gushing bright orange blood....
My spouse keeps setting their farts on fire and I think it may be over between us....
My vegetarian girlfriend from New Jersey got mad at me and started yelling at me....
My wife and I got into a fight because I said she didn't wear enough mascara....
My wife asked me to take her to......
My wife called me while I was...
My wife is furious at our neighbor who sunbathes naked in her backyard....
My wife said, "I'm backing the car in the garage....
My wife threatened to kill me if I......
My wife threw a tin of soup at me....
My wife wants me to take her out on her birthday....
My wife was driving us home last night......
My wife's threatening to leave me because of my obsession with being a TV news anchor....
Never break someone's heart, they only have one......
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