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My mate reckons he was beaten up by......
My mate Terry was going to give me a lift somewhere, but he got run over by a steamroller....
My mate told me that some evil person did a hit and run on a disabled person last night....
My mate was in the army....
My mom couldn't find my favorite breakfast lately......
My mom had to call the cops last night on this dude who was running through her garden, screaming at the top of his lungs, and just wouldn't leave....
My mom's sister stole my shorts....
My mother always said that she didn't have a favourite child....
My mother got hit by a double...
My musician friend recently had his home broken into and his property is missing....
My neighbor didn't think I could do a......
My neighbor is stealing cement from me....
My next door neighbour has just blown up a Lenin statue....
My office was evacuated after we heard Boogie Wonderland on the radio....
My oldest boy insulted me while we were......
My phone ran out of charge......
My pirate fanfic just got approved for the next Pirates movie....
My Psychiatrist says my fixation with small Japanese swords is out of control....
My puppy always starts fights when he gets overheated....
My relationship with a girl I matched on Tinder was going great until she suffered a psychotic episode insisting that she was part-crab....
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