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  • I was riding my bike yesterday when a couple punks came up and knocked me to the ground, then took my bicycle and laughed at me as they ran off....

  • I was robbed at the gas station today!...

  • I was robbed at the gas station today....

  • I was robbed by two huge Swedes......

  • I was shot and wounded by a Priest the other day....

  • I was so angry about my computer that I ripped out its GPU and smashed it....

  • I was so close to winning an argument with my wife....

  • I was speeding down the highway on my motorcycle with my girl Ruth on the seat behind me....

  • I was teaching my children what groups of animals are called the other day....

  • I was told by a terrorist that no one is allowed to keep count of anything anymore ....

  • I was told someone was executed in my......

  • I was touring the Will Wonka candy factory when a crate of everlasting jawbreakers fell on me....

  • I was Trained in the Martial Arts...

  • I was unexpectedly fired from the Yamato Japanese......

  • I was visiting a zoo in Mexico over the holiday break when a fight broke out in the primate enclosure....

  • I was walking by a farm when one of the goats starts charging at me....

  • I was walking home from getting Chinese takeout for dinner when 2 ruffians knocked me to the ground and stole my soy sauce packets!...

  • I was walking my dog around the park, you know, just kicking it....

  • I watched a graphic video of a bear attack today....

  • I watched my estranged father get tortured on......

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