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  • I'm being framed for a crime!...

  • I'm glad I wasn't casted for a Freddy......

  • I'm going on a barging holiday......

  • I'm making a movie about dropping the F-bomb....

  • I'm quitting my job as a human cannonball....

  • I'm sorry but isn't every murder....

  • I'm taking my driving test soon and need jokes....

  • I'm tired getting by butt kicked in fights....

  • I've finally found my path in life!...

  • I've got a business that makes vampire killing tools out of hemp....

  • I've got a story......

  • I've had the weirdest day....

  • I've just been banned from B&Q for life....

  • I've just heard the window cleaner shouting...

  • If a crisp company (or 'chips' for our Atlantic neighbours) is going to sponsor a Zombie Apocalypse....

  • If a Dodge Shadow and a Mitsubishi Eclipse crashed into eachother....

  • If a group of crows is a "murder"....

  • If a group of Ravens is a Murder....

  • If an actor's nose goes on strike,......

  • If an x-man is called an x-man because......

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