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In the middle of my dinner party this evening, all my guests started doing Roman salutes!...
In war, it doesn't matter who's right,......
Insurance companies issued a new policy....
Introducing our next speaker: Doctor Heimlich!...
Is "buttcheecks" one word?...
It always sucks when your brother does...
It pains me to say this, but......
It took me a while......
It was 10 years ago today that my best friend Henry came running out of the room shouting "it's a boy!...
It was a bad idea to give...
It would be nice if some producers would join the writers and actors on strike....
It's a bit embarrassing to admit this here, but I was once attacked by a whole bunch of street mimes....
It's already been 30 years since my brother threw a wall clock at me in rage....
It's hard being one of only two workers at the Dracula action figure factory....
It's only a murder of crows......
Jesus walks into an Inn....
Joined a dating app for arsonists......
Jokes about death are NEVER funny......
Just bought a book called 101 Ways to Get Glue Off Your Hands....
Just got hired at the guillotine factory....
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