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I missed my reservation at the Ukranian restaurant because I was distracted studying French philosophy....
I mistakenly spilled invisible ink on my mom......
I mixed up my Rogain and Viagra....
I must admit, this joke is quite tasteless,......
I must have done something to offend...
I must have used bad eggs in my omelette....
I muted my phone and now my contacts are gone....
I named my dog Quintaped....
I named my son Moo....
I named my toilet jim......
I never got why they called them paintings....
I never have enough money to play...
I never like to talk about movies with race cars....
I never liked having facial hair......
I never really liked jokes about formatting Word documents....
I never ride my bike around the mental......
I never understood the appeal of bandanas....
I never understood why people wear black clothes......
I never wanted a beard......
I nicknamed a coworker foreskin......
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