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  • I once tried to tell my mailman a joke about unpostmarked mail....

  • I once watched a movie that was set......

  • I once wrote and directed a theatrical performance on puns....

  • I only have Juan joke about Spanish......

  • I only know masterbation jokes......

  • I ordered a book called "How to scam people"....

  • I ordered a book on puns....

  • I ordered a fancy limited edition thesaurus online but when I opened it, all the pages were blank....

  • I ordered one of those "meal kits" where they send you the ingredients and you cook the meal....

  • I paused my film to make a cup of tea and go to the toilet....

  • I personally believe that masturbation is wrong......

  • I personally hate cat-callers....

  • I phoned the Suppository helpline the other day....

  • I picked up a U2 version of Monopoly at a yard sale....

  • I pissed on an electric fence some years ago....

  • I plotting to try and steal the pyramids....

  • I promised not to making anymore root vegetable jokes....

  • I put on a chinese finger trap as......

  • I quit drinking for good....

  • I quit gambling......

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