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  • I quit my job at the helium factory today....

  • I quit my job at the helium gas......

  • I quit my terrible job at the candy store....

  • I ran out of toilet paper so have......

  • I ran out of toilet papers, so have......

  • I ran over my neighbors foot with a......

  • I rarely find cocaine jokes funny....

  • I read a book about glue once......

  • I read a mediocre book about ancient Mongolian leaders....

  • I read the world's worst thesaurus...

  • I really HATE anal......

  • I really hate black holes......

  • I really hate funerals....

  • I really hate jokes about wells, so please don't tell anymore of them....

  • I really hate One Direction fans......

  • I really hate professional wrestling, it is absolutely the worst thing on TV....

  • I really hate snakes, worms and slugs....

  • I really hate them hippy shops!...

  • I really hate using my vacuum cleaner....

  • I really like puns about yellow gloves......

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