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  • I tried cooking for the first time and it was much easier than I thought....

  • I tried dating a defensive lineman....

  • I tried donating blood today....

  • I tried lending my dyslexic friend a hand, but he asked me to leave him alone....

  • I tried many passwords but nothing happened....

  • I tried reading 'The Iliad' and 'The Odyssey'....

  • I tried to cheat during my jog by taking a shortcut through some bushes, not realizing it was poison ivy....

  • I tried to convince my wife and daughter that pictures of Santa and crew could only be taken with a special camera - the North Polaroid ....

  • I tried to get my Buddhist brother out......

  • I tried to invent a type of paper that couldn't be torn, but I failed miserably....

  • I tried to learn the trumpet,......

  • I tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it was a complete failure....

  • I tried to tip my Doctor, who also specializes in treating little people....

  • I tried to write a joke about planes....

  • I tried to write a novel about a......

  • I tripped over a packet of Kleenex and thought i had broken my leg....

  • I turned 85 earlier this year, and my driving skills are declining....

  • I used to book venues and appearances for a local indie rock group back when I lived in Virginia Beach, but then I got fired....

  • I used to have horrible knee pain....

  • I used to know a ton of good dad jokes....

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