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  • i stole a kilt while i was in......

  • I stole some french fries from someone and ran off....

  • I stopped into a local Verizon store......

  • I studied cave exploration in college....

  • I stupidly decided to walk through a patch poison ivy....

  • I support hate speech....

  • I swallowed 2 pieces of string....

  • I swallowed a watch yesterday......

  • I swallowed my watch last night....

  • I tell my kids that it's easy to make fun of me when I'm missing half of my head....

  • I think brackets really clarify......

  • I think Darth Vader was a mistake in the Star Wars films....

  • I think I am a social vegan......

  • I think i am getting a sun burn on my head....

  • I think I said something wrong to the skid marks in my toilet, they're nowhere to be seen....

  • I think I was supposed to take my car in because of a manufacturing defect....

  • I think I'm allergic to certain types of nuts they make me sneeze....

  • I think my chess opponent cheated....

  • I think my local 3 storey mall is......

  • I think my wife has been putting glue all over my firearms....

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